I'm lost for words to start this entry, for I'm so overwhelmed by the emotion of feeling touched.
To my colleagues who left comments, I'm so so touched. They were really words that warm my heart. You all made me feel that my sadness and sorrows have been understood.
To be true, I'm still feeling glooomy. In fact, I feel consumed. Consuming my mind, body and soul. So consumed that I feel drained, mentally, physically, spiritually. To a point that I start to wonder, what consume others? I can't recall what consumes me in the past. What was in my mind in the past? How did my mind and heart work in the past. I simply can't recall.
And when I read through the comments that you guys posted, this sentence speaks to me:
'If you can dream--and not make dreams your master'
I dream. And I made my dreams my master, which is controlling my daily life way too much.
I knew there's more to life. In fact, whenever I hear of a tragedy happening somewhere, I disgust at myself for being a weakling. News of friends' parents pass away made me feel that I shouldn't feel what I should be feeling now, for there's more to life. So much more.
I do think that God really blesses me. My earnest request for a position in HOMS is accompanied by so much wonders. Though with matters of the heart, I can't help but applaud the much favours given - My understanding and wonderful superiors, my supportive dept colleagues, and many of whom our work path may not really cross one another's, but the attempt to build a relationship with one another fills me with so much warmth.
It has been some time I write something so deep in my heart. But they are true emotions.
And again, to the colleagues who left comments and to the colleagues who read my blog but too shy to comment, I felt the warmth. And I thank you guys so much. I may not know who you are. But deep down inside me, I appreciate every bit. Not only your precious comments, but also your pure existence in my life.
2006 is an exciting journey for me. A journey filled with love, excitement, disappointments, sorrows, knowledge, growth, faith, blessings, unrest, confusion, depressions, recovery... etc etc...
Thought of the day:
My left top eyelids have been twitching for more than a month. Is something gonna happen? Or the veins near my eyes went haywired?