Pain hidden under smiles... I still feel bitter, from within..

Pain, still, but at least, it can be hidden under smiles. Or at least, I start to eat a bit. Or at least, my negative emotions don't affect the pple around me.

I'm still capable of accurately guessing what will be worn for the day. I'm still not sleeping well and dreams haunt me the entire night of sleep. I'm still not clocking OT hours. (I need money!)

Received several praises on Tuesday. First, one says I look like a certain artiste. (I guess she's trying to cheer me up) Second, few said I look cute. (",) Third, a colleague-cum-friend says I'm a sentimental and lovely girl. (She herself is a lovely girl too, whom showered me so much during my rough times, though i knew her for merely 9 months) Even if they are just meant to cheer me up, I appreciate every bit.

Struggling with magnanimous, selflessness and merciful. Its such a thin line btween these good attributes and the attitude of 'bo-chup'. Give me strength for the acquisition of these positive attributes.

Turn back time... I still wish...

I still feel bitter and sore, from within.