就快要走了

In a wink, I haven't blog for 3 weeks!! And looking at the previous blog, my colleague is leaving in one week's time. How sad. But people have to move on!

2007 06 24 -- Ivan and Lynn's Wedding

Nothing to shout about recently. Trying to make life better, trying to make ends meet, trying to gather motivation I need.

6th July 2007
I was impressed how God discouraged me from attending an interview. A terrible struggle from within. A surprising last minute wedding invitation. A comforting and definitely pleasant surprise of assured companionship. The decision to attend the wedding dinner. And a final decision to cancel the interview for a financial planner.

7th July 2007
Easily decided what to wear for friend's wedding. Surprised in realising the table I was placed. Struggling on possibility to change seat with minimal trouble incur. Welcomed into H6 table. Had a fun and crappy time talking about the past hall stuff. Nostalgic emotions arise, expectedly. Though we weren't close during sch days, distance makes appreciation possible. Listening to testimonies of other hallmates. Know how the others are doing. Knowing that your friends are safe and well. An expected boring turn-out-to-be nice wedding. Great companionship home.

No pictures to show. But I'm glad how things change. Too fast to believe that it is man's will. God's will, I say.

07-07-07 seems a great date for marriage. Mum's asking me if I can make it for 09-09-09... I'll try...

Monthly report, quarterly presentation, etc are all here again! My GL was telling me tt it is good working here. Good work to pay ratio (Meaning high pay low work), low stress, good colleagues. Not that I disagree. Yes. Currently, I guess our work-to-pay ratio is high. Stress level is low in the company (due to low/no politics; colleagues helping each other). Good colleagues is for-sure truth. Yes, I want a high work-pay ratio, and good colleagues. As for stress level, I'm a person who welcome stress. Stress is part of my motivation.

But somehow, I'm losing the motivation since months ago. I guess, from the point my allowance is cut, which is February. It simply shows that the company is not appreciative. It was a tough quarter. With company big events coming, your effort in balancing between work and 'extra work' comes into place. And the continuous reminder of cutting cost on the events makes the job doubly difficult in going through the many quotations and bargaining. It is perfectly fine not being showed appreciation. But it isnt fine to be determined as 'depreciated' by cutting allowance. I lost the love for HOMS since then. Enough said.

I'm still trying very hard, telling myself to persevere. I tell myself every morning. But I failed at the end of every day. I'm also ashamed of myself, being so slack and collecting a pay check which doesnt match up to my work done.

GOD, tell me what to do.