Joy of the Lord... (Or rather the lack of it)

People used to occasionally wish each other 'May the joy of the Lord be with you'. In the past, I viewed it essential but not as something which can be that desired. Not that I think it is unimportant, in fact, I very much feel that 'Joy of the Lord' is part and parcel of everyone's life.

Last Thurs, I attended 'His Life, the musical' after 3 years being away. And for the longest times, His joy came upon me. I could not say it fills me, because ultimately, it depends on a person's relationship with God to have that joy overflowing in life. I've lost that 3 years back, and I haven't build a new one. I cannot describe how much I need this joy. 

Last 3 years have been tough. I depend on relationship with people, on material fulfillment, earthly pride to sustain 'happiness'. Yes, I do have temporary earthly happiness. But none can withstand strong tide, human lies, betrayals, etc. I look back and I gained nothing but a truckload of unnecessary sadness. I could have done better in my workplace, in my personal development, in my health, if I would have held on to the right things. I could only say it was of 3 years of my life. 

I know what it takes to bring back all those joy I had, confidence I used to own and love I used to share. I need to rebuild the lost relationship with God. I need to have 'Joy of the Lord' be with me, now and forever. 

Find my smile back, through the hands of the Lord.