Monday, July 28, 2008


Drenched in weariness. Workload has been high from Apr - Jun. Though the dip sets in in July where most objectives completed, another form of weariness take charge.

The weariness of the upheavals due to the many non work related yet complicated issues at workplace, one after another. And they seems to come at at alarming rate. Many weren't of my direct concern, yet, all bring about an inner justice (or rather injustice) I cannot simply just shove it away from my mind.

Juggling and trying to mediate colleagues' affairs seems to bring me to a mentally and physically drained state. It is amazing how one's cynicism can affect the many around. Demoralizing it can be, but my persistent affirmative attempts brought about even more persistent negative response that I'm now choosing to escape from what it does not even concern me in the first place.

The increment is at an usual shameful rate that I'm so afraid to share with my friends. Nothing extra. Nothing my boss can do. Nothing I can do. Nothing I can think of I can do. I'm freaking drained and bored by the daily routine (due to 3 resigned and not replaced colleagues) which wins no appreciation. What will be, will be. I love my boss, my gl, my colleagues and my technicians, and that is enough to explain.

And I'm deeply glad when the Snr Production Engr complimented on our technician's increasing and admirable skills they have improved so far. Though the compliments were not directly conveyed to them, they are always a group of technicians we are very proud of. I'm sure my GL will agree in unison. GL built the team up, from a group of technically unsound to a group of capable technicians. No words can express my appreciation. They are just VERY great.

Jump ship? Well, I'm at a yacht now. Cruising and no specific direction as long as the master wishes it to be. Enjoying the laid-back style at the yacht yet I longed for a mission ship. But at the same time, worried that the mission shop might turn out to be a pirate's ship. I would love to be in a passenger cruise, but that will mean that behind the scene is the many hard work to put in, with little monetary returns. There are small wooden boats that float around. And I sometimes wonder if I need to hop on these small boats in order to reach the bigger ships. Future is such a unknown thing. And without knowing which ship you want, it becomes a chore to have to decide which one you want.

God gives you a choice, always. But yet, as human beings, the word 'no choice' seems to be hanging around the tip of the tongue. Man are craving for choices, but are yet losers for choices. Life's enigma always exists. Maybe because Adam and Eve have first sinned by eating fruits from the tree of knowledge and wanting to know what is good and bad. Obviously it didn't work, that sin has marred many generations with the urge in differentiating good and bad. And the choices further made us want to differentiate good and bad at every step we do. So much said, that doesn't make us look great as if we want to do good with each choice. Everyone of us, at any point of our life, does things we know is bad, even though we have a choice to choose the path we consciously know it is right/good.

Life's paradox.

I can't help but I went to read my first few post. And look at this one. That was a conversation between my friend (JC-NTU-Seagate friend, current still in same yacht) and me. For laughter.
Dont laugh too hard. Sometimes, God can play little jokes when you take a peek back your life journey. That was just mere 3 years ago.


Philippians 3:14
I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

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